Perseverance. It's a trait that's easy to preach and sometimes difficult to follow. And I'm learning lately that while it is meant to be used steadily, it is sometimes also best used selectively.
Career perseverance I believe in more now than ever. Last month, after probably my fifteenth audition for the same company, I believe my exact words were, "There has never in history been a theatre company so uninterested in an actress as they are in me." Then last week, I went back... of course. And as I type this, my contract is floating through the mail. That's the thing about this business I'm in--no means, 'not this time.' We train ourselves never to hear an actual 'no.' And we continue on.
But then there is life. I'm so used to persevering, I tell myself 'no,' but I keep going. Then one day I wake up in a place I've only dreamed of. And when I look down at the over-sized t-shirt I'm wearing, I remember I'm just a paper doll. It's a very pretty picture, but it's just a painting on a wall of the house I wanted to bid on. What's that expression about putting lipstick on a pig? Life shouldn't be a bacony animal... We silly humans try to make things that just... aren't. We silly, silly humans push ahead instead of waiting for the right time... Then we force ourselves to look in the mirror, unfold the tabs of paper, and we realize... this is life... And life is about patience. And learning. And taking our own advice. And standing firmly in who we are. And sometimes growing.
All of these things take a whole lot of perseverance, but when business hours are over, we must remember to stir in some patience and let our lives flow. At least that's the advice I'm encouraging myself to follow these days...
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