Motherfucker.

Oh fuck, mother fucker, shit shit shit, balls.
I just looked at the AEA site. There is this one day with perfect, perfect breakdowns for me.
It's in May, pre-surgery. Me = so frustrated. I want so much to be able to walk in and know I can kill it in 3 octaves--especially when I know the people behind the table have heard me better. This whole confidence/ability change is making me craaazy.
If only resumes could advertise a new, improved version to come in the Summer 2011 model.
Blah.

Badass and I talked yesterday about how important (or unimportant) it really is to sing your best. On one hand, he talked about a singer disruptively awful enough to derail a show. And on the other hand, we've both fallen victim to 'singing too much' and have both benefited from placing more emphasis on acting. But here's my problem--I know that I should be able to act my heart out and not over-sing while still singing circles around enough people to get the job. When I don't have that extra singing punch that I feel so blessed to have, aren't I just another well balanced singer/actor? No. I know I'm more than that. But I feel like I'm missing my edge.
And while I'm confessing, honestly, as an audience member, I do have a big issue with people who can't sing their parts--because I know there are great, great singers out there you can send to acting school, and then nobody has to suffer. : )

And the weirdest part of all? I'm obviously excited enough about these Chicago auditions to be writing this... Life is funny sometimes...