Robin Hood Was A Communist... or What I Learned from North Carolina and Obama.

Pick your favorite horrifying moment of (social) history. Imagine the people of that time period. Show them the the past, and they would be horrified by it. Show them the future, and they would be horrified by it. I bet this works with any point in time.

Take the Disney propaganda of WWII:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H2I7rlmefA8
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FQqCeEG5hs0&skipcontrinter=1

The people who made these videos probably wouldn't be pleased with many aspects of our society today, and yet some of you probably consider them racist fucks. (I mean, did you see the generic Disney Asians? And that was acceptable then.) I have this image in my head, almost like a chart of the stars. I think of someone standing at any given point in time and judging all the other points, but what they see when they look out into "space" is all the other points in time staring back at them in judgement, too. Everything is a reflection of the time in which you live. The judgement of actions is also dependent on the time in which you live. We know that most things are relative. But there seems to be something about being in the present -- we're constantly blind to what we're doing in our own time. Or at least, we're incapable of judging it.

I've talked to some of you about this... When I saw, "The Help," I had this realization... A lot of people seeing it and talking about it saw it as a historic film, when in fact, nothing has changed since then but the group being discriminated against. Sure, each generation that has faced some sort of struggle for equality or human rights has conquered it. But the trouble is, we're unable to learn from the past (and the future) and realize that we are in the midst of doing something horrifying right now. We seen to be unaware (or at least surprised) that we're falling into our old pattern. Yesterday, a lot of people in North Carolina lost their rights, and it is painful to think we're at it again, repeating our old mistakes.

But what bothers me almost as much as this law is that it passed due to uninformed voting. Let me repeat this again: This law passed because a lot of the people who voted did not know precisely what they were voting for. From what I heard on the news, if the voters knew the law also restricted civil unions and domestic partnerships, it would not have passed.
I heard one sound bite that went something like: "The people in NC said they wanted extra protection." That sentence is sickening on its own. But try this on for size--you know how you can protect yourself? Read the entirety of what you're voting on--especially if the result is going to change the lives of the people you share this planet with.
And more than that, how in the fuck do we allow people to vote this way? I've said in recent years that I think there should be videos in each voting booth. You punch your choice, and there's a recording. It says, "You have chosen candidate A. Candidate A stands 'here' on the issues. Here's a little video by candidate A. You have chosen not to select candidate B. Here's a little bit about them. If you are still confident with your choice, press the green button to continue."
Hey, look at that. An end to uniformed voting and the needless stripping away of human rights.

I realize you all won't agree with me. I realize that the state of our country right now means that we're just about divided. 50/50... You know that scene in "Love Actually" where David (the Prime Minister) stands up to the President of the US and says that the countries are in a "bad relationship?" Well, if our country is truly divided, maybe we should treat it like a bad relationship and just separate... divide up the states like we're dividing up our things. If the reality is that we're a country of 50/50, instead of trying to force it, why not just become two happier countries?

Here's a funny thought. Our country, which we say was founded on people being equal... was actually founded by a guy who pushed another group out to make room for all this equality (equality takes up a lot of space, you know). Our founding history almost makes sense of our present day mess. From tarnished to tarnished--isn't that what they say? So let's say I wanted to secede and start a country where all people are equal and all of them are fed and stuff (I'll get to that more later). Where would I begin? Well, I suppose I could just go find the center of where all the bigots live, pretend they aren't there, and plant a flag right up their--
Anyway, all will be welcome in my new space--as long as you leave your bigots at home.

What we should do is take away the titles. We shouldn't use those Democrat and Republican words. After listening to a lot of NPR election coverage lately, it's become apparent that it's very important for opposing candidates to be completely different. The second there was common ground between a Republican candidate and Obama, the other Republican candidates were all over it. Wouldn't it make it easier to vote if candidates had the same stance on some issues and different stances on others? It just seems so contrived that they must disagree about almost everything. Wouldn't it be easier for us to come to a decision, to agree on a leader, if we could just look at a Presidential venn diagram?
The new leader of France made a comment about being able to see eye to eye with Obama on some issues, and I saw a near facebook explosion about Obama having too much in common with this Socialist. First of all, having something in common with someone does not make your entire belief system the same as theirs. And second of all, what about celebrating the fact that world leaders can connect with each other? Isn't this whole game about allies? Or dare I say peace? I heard a similarly disturbing sentiment about the US and China the other day. Someone suggested that the US is the country that's supposed to put its foot down, keep China (and everyone else for that matter) under control. Here we have this president who's trying to work with them on our relationship instead of bullying them. Maybe I'm a moron, but I thought that was a good thing.
(I'm not a moron.)

And you guys. You guys. If we're talking about what we have in common... what about our common instincts as humans? Do we have an instinct toward violence or toward compromise and problem solving? Toward selfishness and survival of the fittest or maybe toward caring for those less fortunate than ourselves? I'm not sure. But can we agree that we want everyone on Earth to have food? Can we start there? And what if we go as far as to say that just maybe, we should never again put any group in a position where they're discriminated against. And if I can go one step further, don't all humans believe we should find a way to make sure that everyone gets taken care of when they're sick?
So let's take away all the labels and just be humans together for a minute. If we can at least agree that we want to live in a county of equal rights and a place where everyone's fed, that should be the goal, and we shouldn't be so sticky about how it's done.
The thing is, people are really sticky about how its done, because, well, lots of people are afraid of Socialism. I don't claim to know much about Socialism or specifically Communism. But sometimes I hear myself talking about how I think we should just insist that everyone get fed. I mean, how can anyone alive think that it's ok for people to starve while others have so much? I admit, on one hand, if we think about it too much, how can we possibly enjoy an ice cream cone or a vacation without feeling guilty? We can't let that heaviness rule our lives. But at the same time, I really do believe that before we focus on fixing anything else in the world, it's reasonable to make sure our citizens aren't starving to death. And isn't the government the entity with the power to help us do that? That's my belief, and I think I've been told that's some form of Socialism, and some people may think I'm a crazy radical... But gosh... You know what? In that case, you know who was a total Commie? Fucking Robin Hood. That boy needs to trade in his green tights for some red ones.
Anyway, even people who are against certain political associations... don't they share those deep human beliefs with those like me who wouldn't mind if we leaned a little closer to the red light, just enough to make sure that everyone could eat, stay healthy, and be able to enjoy the same rights and freedoms as their fellow countrypeople? Or are there really humans that think some people deserve less than other people? If the former is true, and I hope it is, we should match our political actions to our human instinctual values more than our political ones. And then maybe, just maybe, we can unite.
See, here's the thing. While I honestly believe that if we can't unite, we may as well divide, my hope is of course that we can realize we all have those same basic values that will help care for everyone on this planet. Common ground is the key to everything because if we took away the titles and just looked at those instincts, I really truly believe that as humans we would be able to use the common ground to improve the world. If we didn't think we had to disagree with each other, maybe we would actually get some things done.


So... I spoke the general outline of this into my phone's video recorder on the way to the Marriott yesterday. I was really brooding about it when I got there. And then two magical things happened:
1) While talking about this in the dressing room, we all found comfort in the fact that the people of NC shot themselves in the foot a little, also taking away civil union and domestic partnership rights of straight people. So maybe they can learn their lesson a bit here?
2) Maybe I'll dedicate more writing to this part later... But most importantly, and historically, Obama swooped in to make yesterday a bold and happy day as well. My dear President stepped up to endorse equal rights and make me adore him even more than I already do. I'm still angry and upset about the state of things. I still want them to change. But there is a brave man leading our country who also wants things to be different. And that makes this day in history a little bit better.

Ya get me?

We--
(Whenever I use the word "we" here, I mean humans. I feel I know a decent enough sampling, and I'm decently observant enough to speak about our nature, though I don't claim to be an expert. Anyway, now that I've said this, I can continue.)
We spend an awful lot of time thinking about how other people feel about us. From a next door neighbor, to a colleague, to a person of romantic interest... for most of us, it matters (even just a little) what they think. And then it's quite a mission before the realization that none of it matters. Care what they think all you want. Try as you might to put your best foot, your best face, your best self forward, but in the end, you can simply. never. make anyone feel differently than they do.
Another thing you cannot do is make yourself make sense to someone else. I recently found myself contemplating the short list of those I feel really "get" me. I'm always pretty excited to feel I've added anyone to this list, because aren't these lists generally short? And it feels so good to be around those people, right? (You know, in a totally un-creepy way, I feel like this post may end up being a sort of "like" letter to a few people that may be newcomers to my list.)

Sunday night, I found myself in the company of some lovely people. One of them is someone who, until recently, was a mere acquaintance. After a few recent conversations, though, I'd say we now have a green, sprouting friendship. So let's name this boy! We'll call him Tex.
At this thing on Sunday, Tex and I found ourselves having a conversation about what I was just writing about--the rarity of those who "get" you. And then it got interesting...

A fascinating realization--when you hang out with really kind, really open people, they tell you what they think of you. More specifically, they tell you the nice things they think of you. So we're all hanging out, and I mention I've had a lot on my mind, and Tex launches into a pep talk of sorts. He tells me that even though they're just getting to know me, he and his lady think I'm awesome. And I deserve great things. And I'm such a great person. Etc.
We're often the ones who tell ourselves these things (right?). And then sometimes we brush off the compliments that come from other people (right?). This time, I chose to (humbly) absorb what Tex was saying, to treat it as a mirror of the first impression I've given. Yeah, we're all just getting to know each other, but they sense something great enough in me to wish for my happiness. Not just in the way you want the world to be happy. But in the 'you are so amazing and should never settle for anything less than what is equally amazing to you' kind of way. What a fantastic reminder that no matter how hard we are on ourselves, we are likeable and deserving.
Sure, maybe it's the equivalent of a friendship honeymoon. But I'm gonna be me and conclude that:
--Maybe there are a few more guests on my list of those that I just click with.
--Maybe we all do like each other, and it's as simple as that.
--Maybe there are nice, nice people around.
--And more than maybe, if someone believes something great about you, you better damn well believe it about yourself.

Anyway, we're having this mutual admiration fest, the conversation wanders, we're talking about some other people, and I make a comment about one of those other people being someone who "gets" me. And Tex says something surprising. He says he doubts they really do. And I think it's based on the admiration. And I think it's a sort of compliment. But it gets me thinking:
--When we think someone "gets" us, maybe they don't at all. It could be just some series of actions or events that went "well" that makes it appear as if they totally get it. If we're the only one who thinks they do, is our opinion enough? Is our opinion the only one that matters or the only one that doesn't count?
--Is it possible these new people I'm just getting to know can already know me well enough to appreciate me and "get" me in a way others don't? Did they read my energy so well?
--Or is it that they "get" the me I am right now? The people who've known me my whole life may "get" me better as a whole story of a person, but maybe these people are going to be the best at knowing present day me.
--Or don't they have a clue what they're talking about? Aren't the parties involved in a connection the only ones who know whether or not it's real? Because they are the ones feeling it... So nobody can ever comment on the connection between other people.
--And anyway, connecting with any of these people doesn't mean they "get" it, "get" me. We're supposed to trust ourselves, our own feelings. There's such the importance of knowing yourself. We're the ones who are supposed to know the answers. But then our (often times) complete inability to take our own advice nullifies any authority we have over anyone else making an observation. Maybe their objectivity is the key... Or maybe we should just get better at knowing the answers... Ha.

And another thing. With this whole Sunday crowd, all I'd done was be me. (I didn't do anything. I just was.) And that was enough to win them over. Maybe, if it's ever harder than that to connect with someone, if you don't reach some kind of mutual understanding right away, maybe they'll never get you. Maybe you'll always be under-appreciated.

I have no idea who "gets" me for sure. (Because really, there are few things we can ever know for sure.) I know I feel that these people do... and I feel some other people do. Maybe they all do. Maybe none do. I think right now I just need to believe myself on all counts.
And anyway, this whole story is really two fold. 1) My brain circle about whether or not we all really "get" each other and how to know and 2) I am really enjoying being with people who care about me in this seemingly/strangely unconditional way. These people look at me and see the good, the best parts of me that I assume people see because they're such a big part of me, that I always hope they see, those parts that I hate to learn people missed or never saw in the first place. It's really nice to be around people who see it and who appreciate it and who tell me.

While I was enjoying Sunday with the nice people...
Tex and were getting to know each other a bit, talking about song writing and aspirations and stuff. He mentioned he always wanted to be a musician. I asked him what kind of stuff he wants to do. He told me he wants to have enough of a name to change the world. That's sorta what I've always said. I do this because I love it, but if I reached the height of celebrity, I would celebrate my power to have an impact on the world much more than the power of the fame. Tex and I talked about that a little, and my faith in humanity increased for the moment as I added a tick to the list of people whose hearts are as big as their talent.
A while later, another friend and I got to talking. We're gonna call this guy FDA (based on his induction into the Future Dads of America). FDA and I somehow got into a similar conversation about our wants and about music. And out of his mouth poured a similar sentiment about wanting to change the world with his voice.
The last thing he said went something like this: "I want to change the world. But so does everybody."
I stopped him, stared him in the face, and told him that everyone, in fact, does not want to change the world. (And I happily added another tick.)

I coach gymnastics at a really great gym. Coaching at a great gym in the middle of Chicago means meeting a lot of smart, sometimes privileged, sometimes very well-educated kids. Some of the girls I coach have aspirations of being doctors and archaeologists, some are involved in more extra-curricular activities than I can count... You get the picture. I was talking with one of the girls a few weeks ago. This girl in particular frequently talks about her academic successes in every subject (except Spanish). So after learning some of the goals of the other girls, I decided that day that I would ask her about her future plans. Let's call her FOOC (Future of Our Country). The conversation went something like this:
Me: Hey Fooc, what do you want to be when you grow up?
Fooc: Well... I want to be a model.
Me: Ok... But once you retire from modelling, what will you do?
Fooc: First I'll model. Then I want to marry a professional baseball or football player.
Me: Ok. But what will you do with your free time? What do you want to contribute to the world? You're on this planet, so what mark do you want to leave behind?
Fooc: My face. People will have my magazine covers to look at.

FOOC (perhaps with an alternate pronunciation)!

I've made many observations, and I have many concerns, hopes, etc. regarding the next generation based on my talks with these girls. But this one... All we need to take from this one is that not everyone wants to change the word. Some type of person wants to change the world. The optimist? The guilty? The enthusiastic?
All I know is, I like people who use exclamation points, I like optimists, and I like the special people who want to change the world. Maybe what I'm going to take from this weekend is that if I am simply myself, I will attract people who are passionate in the way I am. I will find the people who want to change the world. And if I stick with those people, I just may find that I'll always be in the presence of those who respect me, who appreciate me, and who just "get" me. And I will do my best to return the favor.

Muse-ings

I've been surrounding myself with music. A drink in my hand, a song in my ears, and my heart pounding with floods of feelings... I can't decide if it's better to let it in and let it out, or if I should turn off the volume and ignore it until I'm better equipped to listen and not read so much into it...
I just finished reading High Fidelity, and there's some part in it where Rob's talking about listening to songs at certain points in your life when every song seems to be speaking directly to you, directly about you. I'd find the quote, but I read a friend's copy. When I read my own books and find a quote I like, I fold down the corner of the page it's on. When I'm reading someone else's book, I have to resort to marking the page with a little scrap of paper. As I closed High Fidelity, I looked at the book, and it seemed about 40 little pieces of paper were sticking out the top. I'd probably have to re-read the whole book to get all the quotes down... and to find the one I'm thinking of now...
Back to my point--I'm in that place right now. That place where I hear a song I can relate to, and it feels like that song is about me and me alone. Without my knowing it, someone put my life to chords and poetry, and I'm the only one who gets it...
But then another minute passes, and I realize someone wrote that song, which means someone else gets it. And no matter what that song is making me feel, so very many others feel it or have felt it, too. And that's a comforting thought.

Before tonight's music started, there was mingling. And drinking. And a silent auction. I found myself thinking of things I could offer instead of money... "In exchange for tickets to your show, I will give you my pride." "For this autographed photo? Oh, I'll bid my sanity... plus a six pack for good measure."
Oh, sanity... You elusive devil...

You know, you are everywhere. You've bled into every facet of my life. I'm not sure how it all got so intertwined, but I'm somewhere, I'm anywhere, and there's something so obviously you in the room... (Or maybe that something is me?)

I have so much more to say. For now, I'm just happy to return to blogland. I'm happy that my green dress is crumpled safely in a pile on the floor. I'm happy that I get to sing and make people happy tomorrow. That's right. Five more glorious days of singing someone's song and making it mine. And then endless days of reaching out to people with what's been pouring out of me...

(And we'll pick up there next time.)