Muse-ings

I've been surrounding myself with music. A drink in my hand, a song in my ears, and my heart pounding with floods of feelings... I can't decide if it's better to let it in and let it out, or if I should turn off the volume and ignore it until I'm better equipped to listen and not read so much into it...
I just finished reading High Fidelity, and there's some part in it where Rob's talking about listening to songs at certain points in your life when every song seems to be speaking directly to you, directly about you. I'd find the quote, but I read a friend's copy. When I read my own books and find a quote I like, I fold down the corner of the page it's on. When I'm reading someone else's book, I have to resort to marking the page with a little scrap of paper. As I closed High Fidelity, I looked at the book, and it seemed about 40 little pieces of paper were sticking out the top. I'd probably have to re-read the whole book to get all the quotes down... and to find the one I'm thinking of now...
Back to my point--I'm in that place right now. That place where I hear a song I can relate to, and it feels like that song is about me and me alone. Without my knowing it, someone put my life to chords and poetry, and I'm the only one who gets it...
But then another minute passes, and I realize someone wrote that song, which means someone else gets it. And no matter what that song is making me feel, so very many others feel it or have felt it, too. And that's a comforting thought.

Before tonight's music started, there was mingling. And drinking. And a silent auction. I found myself thinking of things I could offer instead of money... "In exchange for tickets to your show, I will give you my pride." "For this autographed photo? Oh, I'll bid my sanity... plus a six pack for good measure."
Oh, sanity... You elusive devil...

You know, you are everywhere. You've bled into every facet of my life. I'm not sure how it all got so intertwined, but I'm somewhere, I'm anywhere, and there's something so obviously you in the room... (Or maybe that something is me?)

I have so much more to say. For now, I'm just happy to return to blogland. I'm happy that my green dress is crumpled safely in a pile on the floor. I'm happy that I get to sing and make people happy tomorrow. That's right. Five more glorious days of singing someone's song and making it mine. And then endless days of reaching out to people with what's been pouring out of me...

(And we'll pick up there next time.)