I thought week two would prove more productive than it was. Though I was allowed to resume some more normal activity, I was still sleeping a lot (hey, healing takes energy). After years of not being able to because I'd wake up with a wicked sinus headache, I gained an appreciation for the art of the nap. Though week two, being tired was frustrating because sitting on the couch started to get boring. I'd start to sort through some papers, but after tipping my head down for ten minutes, the throbbing would start. So I'd watch some more TV and squirm around, the physical discomfort of inactivity beginning to set in.
I still felt like I had a cold for all of week two (and still even a little bit now). And the sneezing--so much sneezing. But it was fun to reach all kinds of little milestones during those first couple of weeks. It's funny how there are all of these little things that make us feel like normally functioning people. We take a lot of them for granted, so it was fun to notice things like:
--The first time I could chew normally.
--My first day without pain pills (which was the day after the Dr.), and more so, the first day without pain at rest (it still hurts to the touch, though I can feel the tip of my nose where I couldn't before.)
--Each Wednesday, removing a pillow before bedtime so that after week one I didn't have to sleep sitting up, and after week two, I could revel in being a stomach sleeper once more. (Reveling except for the night I smacked myself in the face while turning...)
--Sinus rinses. This may sound like a ridiculous milestone, but I assure you it isn't. See, I tried to neti pot many times in the past, but that only resulted in the water going in one side and my head feeling like it was about to explode. So the day of my follow-up, I started this rinse system they gave me. Sure enough, the water went up one side and started pouring out the other. With ease (after just a bit). It's a little funny, and a little weird. But it was such a great, concrete way to see the difference. And you know, it feels great. I think I'm hooked.
--Putting on makeup, simply being able to towel dry my face, etc.
Of course I also have some more to say about the differences I felt in my voice since that first time I tried singing.
--First of all, I feel like singing just about every day. And I have been.
--I can just enjoy singing in the shower without a proper warm up. I don't have to do a full warm up to feel like I'm safe from hurting myself, and I don't need one to successfully get through a simple song.
--More volume, less effort. To the extreme. Proof? Han said that for the first time ever, he could hear me through his headphones from the other side of the apartment while I was shower singing. #sorrynotsorryneighbors
--A side effect that I wasn't expecting is that my legit has gained some serious punch. They do call it a head voice, and I've got lots o' space now.
--Instead of having to focus on each note, I can just let the sound come out and focus on things like, oh yes, the performance. I'm not preoccupied with "fixing" anymore, my old/new confidence reminds me I'm equipped to not crash and burn, and I can enjoy the ride and trust that my talent will carry me through. Though I always strive to be the best I can be, I feel more comfortable now than I did worrying I was physically incapable of perfection. #blackswanmomentaverted
--I can go out to dinner at a noisy restaurant and shout for an hour and wake up the next morning ready to sing.
--Endurance--I can sing for an hour and want to sing for an hour more. And maybe another. And I could. But I'm still building.
--There are a few things I need to work on. I need to gain complete control of the new space. But even working out these kinks, everything is smoother. I could walk into an audition/callback/rehearsal/performance just a few weeks after surgery and feel perfectly equipped, better than I was before.
Weeks three/four get even less eventful, but still noteworthy.
The swelling continues to go down still and will for a while. I know I'm feeling more normal because when I feel pain it contrasts so strongly to the normality I feel elsewhere.
I went to the beach last weekend for Lando's birthday. The party set up right next to the volleyball courts. Laying there in the sand, I'd relax until I heard the sound of fist to ball, at which point I'd instinctively jump to make sure there was nothing flying toward my face. I wonder how long that reflex will last. #welltheregoesyoursociallife
I've still been singing almost daily. I didn't sing every day during week three, but that's ok. I actually got my first post-surgery gig (thank you JThon!!). That has given me new music to work on as well as my first post-improvement public performance to look forward to! It's been fun to work on the songs because it's just so much easier. And I'm not worried--I feel more reliable. I can work just as hard, but I'm more productive. I'm so enthusiastic, and... just happy to be doing this. It's work and play and wonderful. (And it will be available on YouTube.)
You know, it was really important to me to have this all down... for me. I'm done with the bulk of the story now. I'm sure I'll remember things here and there, but now it's back to writing about other things. This is the Manifest Destiny blog, so there will plenty more on my voice and singing and this journey. But as I return to normal and journey beyond it, so will this site.
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