Doors and Windows...

Almost a year and a half ago, I posted a question on facebook.
Someone I knew answered the question, causing me to meet another person who just so happened to change my life.
One day, that person offered me their extra ticket to a show.
In the show, there was this actor. That show also changed my life.
The second person introduced me to an art form I now love, and I learn that form from the actor in the show.
A few weeks ago, a creative door closed for me, and I found myself wondering why. Then a new, more important door opened on the same night of the week I used to have the other one.
And if I hadn't come back from NY, none of this would have happened. I wouldn't have worked on that project I just worked on. And I wouldn't have met another person. She wouldn't have introduced me to the thing that is going to allow me to keep doing what I'm doing--and the thing that has helped me to really think about what I want from this life.
Thinking about what I really want drove this conversation I had with the second person today... I'm hoping one day I'll be able to write that that led us both somewhere great--that there was some super why under it all...
Life works in weird circles sometimes. I have to remember that everything doesn't make sense right away, but sometimes, if you just wait a bit, the reasons are revealed.
Right now, I'm trying to be patient...

On the subject of why...
I ran into Badass the other day, and we stood talking on Beacon for a while. We were both talking about this life of running from one thing to the next and barely keeping up. He asked, "How do we do it?" I said, "We just keep going." I've thought more about this since, and I honestly think the running is part of the reason we pair off. My mom always told me that if someone says they can't live without you, it's a bright red co-dependent flag. But is our co-dependent nature all bad? See, I was thinking, and you know what makes a day of running around better? Coming home to see that someone's already made dinner. If you have a running buddy, the run doesn't seem so long... And if you have a team mate, you don't have to run the whole race yourself. And instead of admitting you have two week old asparagus in the fridge, maybe you'd want to cook again. I know this isn't the most romantic thought in the world, but maybe it's human... Watching the Tonys the other night confirmed this pairing off theory for me. Wolverine said he wouldn't be where he was without his wife. So did another. And another. And sure, maybe if you look at this from a psychological perspective, they should think they can do whatever they want all on their own. Or maybe they're just being romantic. But what I think--I think they mean it. I think it's true. I think that having someone in your life who supports your dream can change your life. If you want something, and you find someone who wants the same thing, that mutual want can be the (non-fossil) fuel that drives you to happiness.

(And that's the most comically heartbreaking part. The thing you think doesn't exist is the thing I keep in my breast pocket every day.)