Well, I still haven't reached the mother deafening punchline. I'll get there. I will. But I needed to take a moment today just to celebrate. Last night ended my two weeks of initial recovery. This means I can now bend over, work out a bit, start getting back to various "work," and enjoy as the swelling continues to go down. After sitting on my butt for two weeks, there is so much I want to do...
First, I cannot wait to work out. I've enjoyed all the ice cream and the warm chocolate chip cookies, but I'm itching for some yoga to undo the knots of sleeping sitting up and slouching on the couch. And dance. And everything. So I'll move my body.
Then there's my voice. My first lesson isn't for another week and a half. And I don't even know what I'll do at that lesson. I mean, I want to sing through my whole book better than I did before. Then I want to sing new things I couldn't sing before, and sing... just... everything. And I want to record. And there is only one audition on the Chicago Actors Equity website currently. So perhaps a NY or LA trip is in order. And then what? If I want to gig, I need to finish writing some songs, but that means my outlet is still at least a few weeks away... It's amazing to feel so refreshed about the thing I love so much. And at the same time, I feel a little short on opportunities to go celebrate it right now. I don't just want to use my voice for my new singing in the shower obsession. I want to share it... as we singers so love to do.
I found a similar duality in the healing process of the last two weeks. There were all the aches and restrictions and missteps, the ups and downs of healing. I am still not even close to 100%. But at the same time, there was such great progress. Until this point in my life, my recoveries have been limited to injuries. When you're injured, it's pretty much all about the return to normalcy. But in this case, recovery coexists with growth, and the improvements make me feel like I surpassed "back to normal" and left it way back in the dust of recovery day one or two.
For week two of healing, I started to watch Nip/Tuck from the beginning. I watched it for a couple seasons when it was on, but I missed a lot. I've always been fascinated with medicine, and I've always been a sucker for a medical drama. But watching while healing has fueled this respect I have, especially for my doctors, and particularly doctors who build. When I think of surgeons, I often think of people who fix. The body is supposed to be a certain way, and when it breaks, they follow the blueprint they know in order to put it back. But watching N/T reminds me of the doctors who build and create. (And not that I want to give any doctor a G-d complex,) but isn't it truly special to be gifted with the ability to construct any part of a human? I think it's pretty amazing. And I feel very blessed that a few gifted hands have allowed me to use my gift properly again. It's the great restoration of 2011. It may not make the history books, but it will make mine.
This may sound all sappy or born again-ish, but honestly, I've just used my time to think about this stuff, to process the process. I'm just so happy I made this decision. I pursued the problem to its end, and I'm sure going to make the most of the solution.
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